Wrong Decision (?)

    We actually had a very good relationship… we see each other almost everyday… until I came into a croos road. I had to make a decision, which comes first…

    Years before I met her, I became involved in a community. Within those years I have committed myself in service of that community. When it comes to decision making, I had already set to my self which comes first… and it has always been service through the community first for me. 

    Also we had a small business that unfortunately, because of the current economic crisis, is barely surviving. 

    Now a few months within our relationship, for some reasons the other leaders went AWOL and I was the only one left and some new members. So our elders had no else to rely on, and we must do something to prevent our chapter from dissapearing,,, But it meant, I have to spend more time with it, I was hoping I could inspire others to follow my lead… I have to make a drastic descision…  Was I wrong to follow my logic, at the time? I reasoned, more people are in need of my time in the community so I have sacrifice my own time, and my own emotions … I tried as much as could to spare her sometime, but our free time no longer co-incide … 

    I was thankful at first, for she knows its important for me… she tried to understand … but I guess it took me too long to resolve the task at hand… Even so I continued with my tasks within the community. This time with one difinite goal. I'll accomplish my assignments within this year, one is find some new capable leaders or inspire the in-active ones again. I thought, once I hav accomlished that, I can relinquish my leadership and dedicate my time for her.

    It took me too long to accomplish that … her patience ran out… she would not even answer my calls or reply to my messages anymore… 

    I realized now that one mistake that I did is I relied fully on my logical thinking ( I guess I watched too much Star Trek Movies and got mr spocks line of thinking). I failed to consider the emotional needs … Her emotional needs…

Her eyes…

     It all started two years ago… it was late September or October. I saw her in the cafem once, twice… I see her almost everyday … I thought she was in school still (people usually get that impression of her since she looks a lot younger than she really is…). I learned later that she had just graduated and looking for a job.  After a while, we started to talk casually everytime we see each other. Eventually became friends…

    There's something in her that really got my attention, something that I can find no words to truly describe it … Is it her hair? Her sweet, soft voice? Her beautifully shaped lips? Her slim figure? Or was it her eyes? Her eyes… so beautiful …. so perfect … Like the eyes of Luna of the Final Fantasy character. Eyes that are so  well defined, and so expresive.  I remember seeing her eyes making expressions even as she composes a text message in her cell phone …

     I always believed that the eyes are the windows of our soul… the eyes always speaks the truth…  And through her eyes I saw the real beauty in her… not only her external beauty… but the beauty within her soul… The day I saw it … was the day I fell in love with her!