Happy Birttday!

 May 31

This is an open letter to the best girl that ever came into my life.
Sad to say that though I tried to talk with her many times, all my efforts came into a naught.  I never planned to post this one, but given the current conditions, this is my last resort to relay to her how much I still feel for even after all the time that have come and gone… lest I risk in finding my self in jail. Perhaps I would, if only I am too selfish and think not of those whom I care for.

 Perhaps someday, I would regret posting this… perhaps not… only time can tell.

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Dearest Mai Mai,

How I wished I could have greeted you personally today. I prayed that we could spend time together in this special day of yours. I even planned to send you a dozen white roses to show to you that my intention to you is pure… But after talking to with your father and with my utmost respect to him and your mother and to honor the words that I have said to your father, I can no longer do that now.

I have asked a little of your time say to you what I have longed to say, yet you never gave me a chance, except for that a couple of minutes that you allowed me to talk, however, I wasn’t able to finish what I wanted to say.

First of all, I wanted to thank you again for planting that seed of change in me. That seed grew, and created a  lot of change in me. While I used to be an aimless wanderer all my life, happy and content to what I have at the moment never wanting more and never thinking of what would I become in the future. Perhaps, you could say I was a passive, useless husk of a man. All these and more, was my state before I met you.

I remember you suggesting to me, in that restaurant, that I should know my self better. I took that suggestion seriously actually. For at that time, I thought I knew my self. However, I realized, you saw something else in me. As I reflect the words you have said and by the way you used to looked at me, I realized you saw a better man in me. A man that I my myself did not recognize at the time. While my life was goine aimlessly, you saw a man with a goal, a plan for his life… a man with a dream. Because of you that man has now gone of hiding. I learned to dream, to set goals for my life, to love life more… all because of you and for you.

Though, life is still a bit rough for me and my family, I can see things differently now, and I learned to stand and face all trials more positively now, and if I may be so bold to say, I am proud that I have overcome most the trials so far, and I am positive that with the help of God, soon I can contribute greatly to solve the financial problem that has plauged my family ever since I was working in Cebu.

God has answered most of my prayers so far…. a new job that would give me a steady income. believe, my brother can now take care of the cafe, two new business on the side that requires just a fraction of my time. I can now manage my time more effectively… well, though it was viewed negatively, I have now a lot of free time for my future partner… if ever I would  have one. Perhaps, I would just find better ways to use that free time for now.

Everything seems to be going fine for me, again this because of the change you have initiated in me and even though we never talk and I seldom see you (though I wanted to see you every day), you were always my inspiration for all of this, and will continue to be my inspiration. Yes, almost everything that I have aimed for so far, I have achieved them.. except for one… however, no matter what has happened, though I haven’t achieved yet the one thing that I have considered to be the most important of all the dreams that I have, I still have my hopes.

Lastly, I have always wanted to say, even after all thise time that I have never stopped caring for you… my heart never stopped loving you and probably, I never will. And I have always considered you to be the best girl who came into my life. I was hoping, that with all the changes that has happened to me, and still happening, I could and would be the best man for you.

Happy birthday!